give me love like never before
Klaine Fic: Even If Your Hands Are Shaking

A/N: Another 4x18 spoiler spec fic. Slightly different take on the message that Blaine leaves while on lockdown. Lots of Blangst but a happy ending. Thanks to Alyssa for a very rushed beta job.

Blaine’s crouched under a desk, waiting in mute terror. The gunshot had shattered the calm of what had promised to be just another average day. And now he found himself in a situation he’d never expected, one that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. They were on lockdown. They just needed to stay down and keep quiet, and everything would be fine, Mr. Schue kept reassuring. But the last thing Blaine felt was safe. He wasn’t sure if he would ever feel safe again.

Blaine was startled by a warm hand sliding into his. He turned to see Marley staring up at him with big, wet eyes. He squeezed back, grateful to have something to ground him. He forced himself to breathe in and out, listening to the muffled sounds of crying all around him.

“Mommy, it’s me. I don’t know where you are, but I’m scared,” Marley whimpered into her cell phone. “I don’t know where the shots were coming from, but I’m…okay. And I hope you are too. Oh god mom, please say you’re safe. I love you so much.”

Blaine’s mind was reeling. He needed to call his parents. No, scratch that – he needed to call Kurt. 

But of course, being the rule follower that he was, his phone was out in his car. Blaine felt his panic swell – the thought of never getting to talk to Kurt again, never getting to see his face, or hear his gorgeous voice, or be held in his arms – it was simply unbearable.

He looked over at Marley, who had dropped her phone, now sobbing quietly, head in hands. He patted her back, a bit awkwardly, not sure what else to do.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Marley sobbed. “My mom’s in the school, Blaine. What if she—”

“Shh,” Blaine interjected. “No hey, c’mon, you can’t think like that. I’m sure she’s fine. Just hiding out somewhere safe until lockdown’s over.”

Marley sniffled, looking up at Blaine. “You really think so?”

“Yeah definitely,” Blaine reassured. “She’s gonna be okay…we all are. But umm – would you mind if I borrowed your phone for a sec?”

“Yeah, of course,” Marley answered quickly. “Are you calling your parents too?”

“Uh yeah, maybe in a minute…” Blaine managed.

But Marley just nodded, giving him an understanding smile. “Kurt?” she asked gently.

“Yeah,” Blaine answered with obvious relief.

“Take your time,” Marley said, squeezing his hand before turning away, trying to give Blaine some privacy.

Blaine dialed with shaking fingers, all the while praying under his breath. Please pick up, oh god please be there. Please Kurt, I just need to hear your voice…

You’ve reached the voicemail of Kurt Hummel. I’m not here right now. Or I’m screening your call. But leave a message and I’ll call you back. Probably.

“Fuck,” Blaine cursed quietly, a single tear sliding down his cheek as he realized Kurt wasn’t going to answer.

“Hey,” he breathed, trying to find the right words. “Hey Kurt, it’s me. It’s Blaine. Listen, I don’t want to scare you, but we’re on lockdown at school. There was a shot, a gunshot, I think, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I just need you to know that I love you so much. I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will—” Blaine broke off into a sob at the mere thought that never might be so much sooner than he’d planned on. “I know I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of and I hurt you, but god Kurt, if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Okay, I just needed you to know that no matter what happens. I love you, Kurt. And hopefully I’ll talk to you again soon, okay? I’m not going to say goodbye…” Blaine stopped for a moment, swallowing down tears. “…I’m not going to say goodbye because we promised we’d never say goodbye to each other so…I’ll see you soon, Kurt, come what may.”

Blaine took the phone, hanging it up before dropping his head to his hands. Calling Kurt had made everything that much more real. And reality was a scary thing at the moment. But for now, all Blaine could do was wait and hope.


Thirty minutes later, Kurt gratefully gathered his things, exhausted from a very draining workshop in acting fundamentals. As he strolled out into the sun, debating where to grab lunch, he happened to glance at his phone.

Missed call and voicemail from Marley Rose

That was…odd. Kurt barely knew Marley. Why would she be calling him? Now curious and with a vague creeping dread, Kurt clicked on the message, listening as a familiar voice began to speak.

Hey, hey Kurt. It’s me. It’s Blaine…

Blaine sounded strange. He sounded worried. Why?

Listen, I don’t want to scare you…

Too late, Kurt thought grimly, terrified of the words that would come next.

…but we’re on lockdown at school. There was a shot, a gunshot, I think, and I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Oh god, no. No no no, this isn’t happening were the only thoughts echoing in Kurt’s head as he sank onto a nearby bench, still listening but terrified of what he would hear next.

But I just need you to know that I love you so much. I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will—

The distinct sound of Blaine breaking off into a sob was enough to propel Kurt into action. He needed to know if Blaine was okay now.

Resolved, Kurt dialed Marley’s number, nearly hurling the phone to the pavement in frustration when she didn’t pick up. Next, he tried Blaine, hoping against hope that he would answer.

“Kurt?” Blaine answered on the last ring, sounding a bit out of breath.

“Blaine, oh thank god,” Kurt sighed. “I got your message – are you okay?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Blaine reassured. “A little shook up, but I’m fine.”

“I’m so glad – god, you scared me,” Kurt let out in a rush, the relief evident in his voice. “What happened? Is everyone else okay?”

“Oh yeah, everyone’s fine. There was this guy with a gun. He shot at a bunch of lockers, but he didn’t actually hurt anyone. They’re finally letting us go home now.”

“Good,” Kurt said. He was quiet for a moment, just thinking, letting the relief wash over him.

“But Kurt,” Blaine finally spoke, “I just want you know to know that I meant what I said. I love you. I’m never going to stop loving you. I know that I’ve done some things, but I -”

“Blaine stop,” Kurt interrupted. “You don’t need to say it. I already know. And I love you too.”

“Okay,” Blaine sighed. “Just so you know.”

“Listen, I’m going to be home next weekend, because my dad’s having some tests run. We should talk, okay? I think it’s time we talked.” Kurt nodded a little to himself, finally ready. “About us,” he finished.

“Us?” Blaine asked, almost positive he had to be dreaming.

“Yeah, us. We should talk. We’ll talk,” Kurt amended, smiling.

“We’ll talk,” Blaine echoed, a wide grin spreading across his face. It was more than he’d dared to hope for, and for now, it was enough. 


If you’re interested in reading more of my fics, you can find them in my fic tag here or on fanfiction.netScarves and Coffee, and It-Could-Happen. Thanks for reading!

1 year ago with 97 notes
#blangst #klaine fanfiction #glee fanfiction #spoilers for shooting star #all my fics #oops my hand slipped and i wrote this?



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